The masks we wear

Can you be different in work than outside work?

And what role do personal values play in successful relationships?

I've been on an Emotional Intelligence course recently and have been reflecting on discussions I've had there. In particular I've got some musings on working relationships, personal relationships and organisational vs personal values.

It's my belief that you CAN be different in work than outside work, but that it's not necessarily a good thing. 

And I speak from personal experience. As always. 

I used to make damn sure I was different inside work than outside it. But it wasn't always that way. I remember in my first few jobs, admittedly in very junior positions, where I didn't take work seriously enough and as a result struggled to get to grips with the restrictions and expectations that a professional working life imposes. 

As I climbed the HR ladder I felt more and more responsible for upholding what I thought was professional behaviour in the workplace, and withdrew a little. I've also spoken about my early social media mistakes and the effect that had on my behaviour at work, but there was one other big lesson for me. 

Several years ago I was accused of bullying someone in the workplace. I'd considered this person a friend and had shared a lot of personal stuff with them particularly around the time I was getting divorced, and felt we had a strong relationship and could be open, direct and honest with each other. That backfired spectacularly in this case, and whilst the bullying allegation was unfounded and nothing happened, it was enough to convince me to withdraw into my shell and wear a totally professional and dispassionate mask at work. 

It got to the stage where a few years ago at the Xmas Party I more or less refused to relax and enjoy myself around staff, and because it was a big event I gate crashed another organisations table and stayed with them having fun and letting my "hair" down before returning to my own organisations table some hours later to resume being Mr Serious HR Person. 

I even used to tell my Chief Executive when he would comment on my cool, distant demeanour at work that I was very different outside work. I'm not sure he believed me. 

And why would he? Why would anyone choose to be so different in work than outside work?

So we have discussed that on the course and no one could really fathom it either, and to be honest I didn't defend myself. 

It was a case of Emotional Intelligence gone wrong and it's done me no favours really in my working relationships. 

What recent experience has taught me, and what the course has reinforced, is that individuals should be congruent, whether at work or at home. Be true to yourself and balance all aspects of yourself no matter where you are. 

I'm trying to be more balanced myself in the hope that I can harness my Emotional Intelligence better, and don't see much value in keeping things separate any more.

What's your view? Can you be different? Should you be different?

We also discussed mixing professional and personal relationships. In particular we discussed what happens when your friends come and work for you and whether that makes it difficult to maintain a professional boundary. 

I've had friends come and work in my team but never directly managed any, but I can see how it would be difficult. I have once ended up in a full blown relationship with someone from work but in hindsight that was not a good thing at all, and again I can see how that would, now, make things quite difficult professionally. 

Other people on the course had positive experiences though and commented that in their experience it made for a great culture and working environment, and a fantastic team spirit particularly in small organisations where one person had more or less employed all their friends. 

What's your view on mixing personal and professional relationships? Can it work? Should there be boundaries?

The course discussions also touched on personal value systems and how these can relate to other people's value systems and organisational values.

We noticed that as we described our closest relationships with our partners, we (without noticing) described how they shared our values and that was what attracted us to them, despite in some cases big social background differences, age differences or language barriers. 

I concluded that it's all very well having an amazing personality, being stunningly attractive and having an unexplainable sexual magnetism - accusations all regularly levelled at me - but unless the other person has a similar value system, the relationship is ultimately doomed. And some of those other things can go by the wayside but your values hardly ever change and aren't something you can really hide away either. 

Now in my single days I used various dating sites, but very few if any focused on providing you with information about someone's values.

Maybe there's a gap in the market?

I think the same is true of organisations and the relationship and bond we form as employees with them, as I discussed today. You'll stay with an organisation long term when you share its values. Over time you can evolve to share them if you don't at the outset I guess, but the relationship is doomed if you don't. 

However, and as someone who has done a lot of work on establishing and embedding organisational values, it's one thing to list these on a recruitment site (or even a dating site) but it's quite another to get beneath the surface and find out if they are real and get to understand them. 

For that, there's no substitute for actual experience. 

In short, you have to date someone for a while, or work for an organisation for a while, before you really know for certain if they are "the one". And getting out of that situation if they are not, well, that can sometimes end badly. 

On the course we talked about whether anyone would compromise their own values to fit in, and we concluded that people often do. 

But is that healthy? I wouldn't have thought so. 

What do you think?

Till next time...

Gary

PS in other news, wedding invites are imminent! Naturally we would love you all to come, but there's only so much room on the beach.  I'll still send you the Gift List though. 

Don't hate the player, hate the game

I came across gamification as a concept fairly recently, and have been giving it a lot of thought. This post will explore my interest and hopefully generate some discussion, even if privately, about its potential use in both housing and HR. 

I can't recall precisely where I came across the concept but immediately I liked gamification. I've dabbled in game playing myself as opposed to being a dedicated gamer, but I have an ultra competitive streak and a bit of an addictive personality so I can see how and why gamification appeals, it's just that I know I could get in over my head on some games and spend more time on them than I need to, so I'm wary. 

But my kids are addicted to things like Candy Crush, Angry Birds and Minecraft, and collaborate online with their friends on more involved games like Call of Duty, FIFA and so on. And even my mum is addicted to Candy Crush and any number of Facebook-hosted games you can mention. It's clear to me that gaming and gamification has wide ranging appeal. 

I've also got quite addicted to the Global Corporate Challenge (GCC) in recent years which combines my love of fitness and exercise with a gamification led approach. 

Indeed, the generations who will make up the majority of our future workforce have grown up with online gaming and the concepts of being rewarded for achievements in games whether solo or team based. 

But they are entering organisations, many of whom who are run by people who haven't heard of gamification much less want to embrace it. Even I'm a recent convert in the last 18 months or so. 

Gamification has huge potential benefits to organisations, so it surprised me in my initial research that most examples were based around learning and development. 

I think it has much wider potential than that. Although that's not to decry how good some of the training based gamification is. 

I've seen it myself in GGHT with the GCC. Building in gamification into an activity creates an element of competition, of teamwork and collaboration, of innovation and creativity, helps to embed organisational values and solve problems, engage the staff and build the organisational employer brand, and in this specific case too encourage physical and mental wellness (see About Me for why I'd like this).

So why wouldn't organisations want more of this?

I think it's because the generations who would most readily grasp the idea and implement it aren't sufficiently advanced enough up organisations in sufficient numbers to make a difference. 

Yet. 

But we are growing in number and in influence. 

So far in my research I've seen some good examples of gamification in learning and training. I have seen how some organisations have transformed their induction processes, and other elements of mandatory training like Health and Safety, to make them much more interactive and to engage their staff more.

But training and learning is, for me, only the tip of the iceberg.  Admittedly though I'd only researched its use in housing, but since then I've done more.  Here's a good list of the Top 25 examples of gamification in business.  I like most of these, particularly how the US Army has used gamification in recruitment.  Also notable is no.19 (Bluewolf) using it for employee engagement and brand development.  These though were in a minority - with most examples relating to customers or individual users, and not to employees.

This article discusses more on how organisations can use gamification for their employees, and is a useful read.  And its this that got me thinking of some wider possibilities.

I think organisations can use gamification in a few different ways:

• Reward and recognition.  If employees can collect trophies and points for doing things (see below) then we can translate these trophies and points into a cash or near cash value which employees can use.  Senior managers could award points and trophies to reward good work.
• Performance management.    A set amount of points could lead to a pay rise perhaps, and an individuals' score and trophy haul could be discussed in a performance management discussion and provide the base data for that discussion.
• Collaboration.   Organisations already use Yammer and other internal social networks, but attempts at collaboration on key projects or duties, or just getting involved with other staff by liking or commenting on things could generate points and trophies.  Organisations could link someone's Klout score (if they use it) to Yammer and use that to encourage sharing and collaboration.
• Delivery of services / job duties.  This does happen in some places, eg look at McDonalds where all their employees have those name badges with the different coloured stars.  I used to sneer at that, but look at the reputation McDonalds have as an employer and a developer of staff.  Its gamification in a pure form and an old one.  But it could be adapted.  What about in customer service or call centres, awarding points or trophies for dealing particularly well with a customer or a call.  Or in a sales role for hitting targets.  And hence the link then to reward and performance management.
• Recruitment - see US Army example, but think of how that can be translated into effective selection processes in any organisation - testing an individuals' creativity by asking them to build a Minecraft world, or their problem solving or resilience by tackling a tough Candy Crush level, or even insisting on a certain Klout score before being able to apply for a role.  Or testing their teamwork by getting them to play a multiplayer Fifa game.

These are all pipe dreams at the moment, I think, but I'm excited about the possibilities of seeing some of them come to fruition and I am convinced within 10 years we will see all of them.

How have you seen organisations use gamification?  Have you seen some of my examples being done?

What do you think the future holds for gamification?

Till next time...

Gary

PS In other news, wedding date now set for Friday 26 August 2016 in Paphos, Cyprus!